Community Guidelines

1.Why we have these

Uyirmei is one community, and everybody in it is doing something difficult: showing a stranger enough of themselves to be considered for a marriage. That only works if the room is safe. These guidelines are what we ask of each other, and they are part of our Terms — breaking them can cost you your account.

They apply everywhere on Uyirmei: your profile, your photographs, the note attached to an interest, your messages, what you tell our staff, and what you do in a meeting we helped arrange.

If you take nothing else from this page: be honest, take a no gracefully, and never send anyone money.

2.Be who you say you are

• Your profile must be true — your age, your marital status, your education, your work, your income and your family. Somebody is deciding about their life on the strength of it.
• If a divorce or annulment is still pending, say so. It is not a mark against you; concealing it is.
• One person, one profile. Do not keep a second account to get around a block, a decline, or a removal.
• If you are running a profile for a son, daughter, brother or sister, they must know about it and agree to it, and the profile must say it is being run by a relative.
• Do not present someone else’s photographs, achievements or family as your own.
• When we ask for a document to verify something, send the real one.

3.Photographs

• Photographs must be of the person whose profile they are on, and recent enough to be recognisable.
• They must be yours to upload, and anyone else who appears in them must be content to be there.
• No photographs where a child is the subject.
• Nothing indecent, sexually suggestive, or deliberately provocative. This is a matrimonial profile.
• No celebrities, no stock photographs, no pictures of somebody else you found online.
• No phone numbers, email addresses or social media handles written into an image.

Every photograph is reviewed before other members see it, and you choose who each one is visible to — everyone, signed-in members, only members whose interest you have accepted, or nobody.

4.How to approach someone

Send an interest, and say something in the note. A line about why you are writing to this person in particular is worth more than a hundred sent to everybody, and it is the difference between being considered and being ignored.

Read the profile before you write. Asking someone to repeat what they have already written tells them you did not look.

Do not send the same message to everybody. Bulk, copy-pasted or automated sending is spam here as anywhere else, and it is grounds for removal.

5.Take a no

Nobody owes you a reply. An interest that is declined, or simply never answered, is an answer.

• Do not send a second interest to someone who has declined one.
• Do not create another profile to reach someone who has blocked or declined you.
• Do not ask a friend, a relative or another member to approach them on your behalf.
• Do not look for them outside Uyirmei — on social media, at their workplace, or through their family — because you found them here.
• If a conversation stops, let it stop. Repeated messages after silence are harassment, whatever they say.

This runs both ways. If you are the one who is not interested, decline rather than leaving someone waiting; it is kinder and it is quicker for both of you.

6.Never money

No member of Uyirmei should ever ask you for money, and you must never ask another member for money. This is the single most abused thing on every matrimonial platform, and it is the rule we enforce most bluntly.

• Do not ask for a loan, a gift, a fee, a deposit, help with an emergency, money for a ticket or a visa, or an investment of any kind.
• Do not ask for bank details, card numbers, UPI identifiers, wallet transfers, gift cards or cryptocurrency.
• Do not offer to send money, or to help someone move money, however it is dressed up.
• Do not raise dowry. Demanding or offering dowry is an offence under the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961, and it has no place in a conversation here.

Messages, interest notes and profile text are screened for this as they are written, and a message that reads as a payment request is refused before it is sent. If anyone asks you for money, do not pay, do not argue — block them and report them. Even if the story is convincing. Especially if the story is convincing.

7.Links, and moving off Uyirmei

Links are not allowed in profile text, interest notes or messages, and are refused as you write them. A link is how a stranger moves you somewhere we cannot protect you, and shortened links hide where they go.

Someone who wants to move to WhatsApp or Telegram in the first few messages is doing something you should be suspicious of. Stay on Uyirmei until you have satisfied yourself about who you are talking to — that is what the messaging here is for, and what you share afterwards is your decision to make in your own time.

8.How we speak to each other

Write to a member the way you would want a stranger to write to your sister or your brother. Concretely, none of this:

• abuse, threats, intimidation, or anything designed to frighten;
• sexual content, propositions, or comments about a member’s body;
• slurs or contempt directed at a caste, community, religion, region, language, disability or skin colour — including as a joke, and including in a profile;
• pressure about marriage, dowry, money or family that a person has not invited;
• insults dressed up as honesty when somebody declines you.

Disagreement is fine. People are allowed to want different things, to have different customs, and to say no to yours.

9.What you learn here stays here

A member showed you their photographs, their family details and their circumstances for one purpose. Using them for anything else is a serious breach.

• Do not share, screenshot, forward or publish another member’s photographs, messages, contact details or family information.
• Do not put a conversation from Uyirmei on social media, in a group, or in front of anyone who was not in it.
• Do not collect members’ details, scrape profiles, or use anything here for advertising, recruitment or business.

Blocking someone is private. So is looking at a profile, if you browse incognito — and reporting someone is never disclosed to the person you reported.

10.When family use the account

Many profiles here are run with a parent or a sibling involved, and that is normal. Two things follow from it: whoever is at the keyboard is bound by these guidelines, and everything sent from an account is the responsibility of the member it belongs to.

Introduce yourselves. A member who thinks they are talking to a prospective partner, and is in fact talking to their mother, is entitled to know which.

11.What happens when a guideline is broken

Three things sit between a member and a breach:

• Text is screened as it is written. A payment request or a link is refused at the moment you try to send it, before anybody receives it.
• A second, slower scan reads text that is already stored and raises a flag for a moderator. It never removes anything by itself.
• A moderator decides. Automated checks find things; people judge them.

Depending on what we find, and how serious it is, we may hide or remove content, refuse a photograph, restrict what an account can do, suspend it, or remove it permanently. A removed account forfeits the rest of any paid term. Conduct that appears criminal is reported to the police, and we will co-operate with a lawful investigation.

We would rather correct than remove, and a first, minor, honest mistake usually means being told about it. Fraud, threats, sexual content sent to someone, and impersonation do not get a warning.

12.Reporting and blocking

If something here is wrong, tell us. Every profile and every conversation carries a report control, and you can report a fake profile, harassment, inappropriate content, spam, a scam, or anything else that does not fit those.

Blocking ends contact immediately and in both directions. Reporting sends it to a moderator with the context they need. Neither is ever a paid feature, on any tier — you will never have to pay to get away from someone.

• Report early. A report about somebody who has just started asking for money protects the next person as much as you.
• Give us what you can — what was said, and when.
• The member you report is not told who reported them.
• Do not file a report you know to be untrue. A false report is itself a breach, and it costs a moderator the time somebody else needed.

For practical advice on meeting someone, verifying what you have been told and staying safe offline, see the Safety Center.

13.If you think we got it wrong

Moderation is done by people and people make mistakes. Write to support@uyirmei.in and ask us to look again, and say what you think we missed. If our answer does not satisfy you, our grievance officer is Varalakshmi K, at grievance@uyirmei.in; complaints are acknowledged within twenty-four hours and resolved within fifteen days.

14.Changes to these guidelines

We update these as we learn what actually goes wrong here. A substantive change gets a new version and is put back in front of you to accept; the version in force is shown at the top of this page.